Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Spending Time With My Mom Knitting a Crooked Scarf

Today's writing prompt is "What was something you taught another person in your family?"

     The first thing that came to mind was that I taught my mother how to crochet.  It must have been after my father passed away.  So she would have been about 64 years old.
     The parts that she had difficulty learning were starting and finishing a project.
     Say for instance she wanted to make a baby coverlet.  I would sit patiently with her and show her how to chain the foundation row.  Then I instructed her to count the chains to make sure she had the right number.  After several attempts, though, she always managed to wind up with more stitches or less stitches than the pattern called for.
     So I would start the project for her.  Once I got it started she would be able to follow the pattern.  When it was time to finish the coverlet she would pass it back to me.
     I brought her a copy of  "Crochet for Beginner's", thinking that she might find it helpful to have written instructions with diagrams.  She complained that she couldn't follow the directions and the diagrams made no sense to her.  
     So, when it was time for the next baby shower or birthday party, she would ask me to take her shopping for yarn.  Then after shopping we would go back to her little apartment, have tea and I would start the blanket, or hat, or sweater for her. 
     One day I paid her an unexpected visit.  She used to keep her hook and yarn in a basket next to her chair.  I happened to look in the basket to see what yarn she had on hand and noticed a beautiful little crocheted hat.   "Oh," I said.  "Who made that?  It's adorable."   She kind of stammered a little and finally admitted that she made it.  
I was thrilled for her.
"That's great!  You crocheted the whole thing from start to finish.  Wonderful!"
     She didn't look very happy, though.  That's when I realized that she probably had it all figured out long before she made that little hat.  I think she felt that if she let on that she knew how to make something from start to finish my visits would not be as frequent.
     My Mom went on to make beautiful things for her family, children in hospitals and folks in nursing homes. 
     Twenty-two years after I first taught her how to crochet, my Mom came to stay with us.  She had terminal cancer and was under hospice care in our home.  By then she had also learned to knit.  She spent most of the day in our cozy sun room.   In between my daily routine of  laundry, housework, and fixing meals I tried to spend a bits of time with her during the day.  Although,  she was on heavy pain medications by then, she still wanted to knit or crochet.  
     I would sit patiently with her and show her how to chain the foundation row.  Then I instructed her to count the chains to make sure she had the right number.  After several attempts, though, she always managed to wind up with more stitches or less stitches than the pattern called for.
     So I would start the colorful dishcloth for her.  But sadly, this time, she could not remember the pattern.  She would often drop her hook or one of her knitting needles.   
    "Lynda," she would call out to me.   "I can't find my hook.  Can you come in and help me find it?"
     I would stop what I was doing and come into the sun room.  The hook or needle was well within her reach.  This time I knew that she what she really wanted was to spend time with me. 
     It's been a little over two years since my Mom passed away.  I still have a vivid picture of her sitting in the sun room knitting that crooked scarf or not so square dish cloth.  

Here is today's entry from Anna's Diary:
Thurs. February 28 1929
Down town 9 a.m. Sale at Kresge's on coats. Bought a gray Kasha for Jean.  Also bought wonderful values in shoes at Bambs for Jean and Jewel.  Baby at Elsies.

4 comments:

  1. These are such sweet memories. I'm glad that you have so many vivid memories of the times you spent knitting and crocheting with your mom; that's really special. 

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  2. Thanks for sharing such a bittersweet post with us.

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  3. It's tough to write posts like this one. I get all melancholy.   Then there is the matter of guilt and regrets. 
    I also tried to teach my mom how to use the computer.   She mostly liked to play games on it.  After a while her interest waned and she gave the computer away.    

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  4. This is such a tender post.  I tried to remember if I ever taught my mother any skill and what came to mind is increasing her comfort level with the computer.  In the last year both Mark and I have tutored her in various computer functions but I think she only feigns an interest to get our attention.  I will show her things and then find out that Mark showed her the same functions the week or day before. I know technology stuff can be confusing (especially if you don't go there routinely) but now I have concluded that it is a way she can connect to me.

    btw, it was fun to see the mention of Kresge's in Anna's Diary - there was a Kresge's in the town where I grew up!

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