Thursday, February 16, 2012

Once Upon a Time When It Was New and Easy

     The theme of February's posts is relationships.
     When it was brand new and only a couple of years old, it was so simple.    Oh sure, there were times that he drove me crazy.  But most of the time he made me laugh. 
      Did I say the wrong things? Maybe I didn't say enough of the right things.  Did I say too much?  Or didn't I say enough?
     I can hear it in his voice, he is hurt and angry.
     I remember the time we ran out of gas, about 2 miles from our house.  It was kind of ironic, I managed to get the sputtering car to roll into the Shell station parking lot.  But it was late and the station was closed.  It was cold, and raining.  He was just getting over a severe case of bronchitis.  We probably should have stayed home, but he wanted to go, so I agreed.  It didn't seem that long ago, but it must have been, because we had to use a public phone to call for help.  When we couldn't get in touch with anyone, we had to walk.  By the time we got home, we were soaking wet and tired.  He was shivering and his fever was back. I sat up with him all night.  At the doctor's office the next day, our worst fears were confirmed.   His bronchitis had developed into pneumonia.  I stayed home from work for three days to take care of him.
He probably doesn't remember that night.  These days, he has far more important things on his mind.
     I am not angry, but I am hurt. And I am tired so very tired.
    He said he will come to me when he is ready.  I practice what I will say.  I want to get it right this time.
    Once upon a time, when our relationship was new and easy, I thought it would always be that way.
I miss you my son.

Here is today's entry from Anna's Diary:
Sat. February 16 1929
Home all day.  Cleaned.  Jean home 1:30.  Helped Clean up. At night took a run to 360. [I think that is her mother's house number.] Home early. Edythe & hubby over. Talked and listened to radio.  Stayed until twelve.


  1. so very poignant, Lynda 
    you make me cry (of course, gotta add, I am over the top stressed so that is not hard to do - though NEVER in public...)
    I am currently wanting to be an island when it comes to relationships - they were all at one time new, easy, and fun
    now? can't say that's true -

  2. Mine are only now venturing out into the grown-up world and I am still trying to find my place in their new lives. I'm getting the feeling that the terms are going to have to be constantly renegotiated. Hope this is worked out for you guys soon.