Drawing
As children, my sister and I shared a bedroom and slept in bunk beds. I had the top bunk. The beds were next to a window, and from where I lay, I could see our backyard, enclosed by a split-rail fence.
My intention today was to write about a recollection of a snowy morning and how I was inspired to draw a beautiful scene of three holly trees with their red berries and the fence capped with fresh snow.
I remember sitting up in bed with paper and pencil, trying to capture it.
Today’s topic was going to be “drawing,”
But something else happened.
As I began writing, my mind wandered, as it often does, down other paths. That same room—the one I first remembered as cozy and safe—began to bring back other memories. Not-so-pleasant ones. And I felt a small lurch in the pit of my stomach.
To avoid misleading the reader, I should explain.
My parents had a rocky marriage, to say the least. Many of their arguments took place in the middle of the night. For two little girls—eight and seven years old—it was frightening.
Perhaps that is why the memory of that simple snowy scene I drew so long ago holds more meaning than I ever realized-until today, when I began writing about it. Something I was holding onto without knowing why.
Maybe my initial memory was a quiet coping mechanism. A way to focus on something calm and beautiful while at times the world around me felt unsafe.
Perhaps the drawing is a symbol of creating something worth saving—something my parents would proudly display on the refrigerator for years.
Not just a child’s drawing, but a small moment of peace, preserved.

Sending you a big hug. And the little you too.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this poignant piece. It renders hope, to you and many others too. Much love.
Thank you. That post just reinforced the benefits that writing provides for me.
DeleteHalf the benefit of writing is how it can bring up forgotten events and feelings. I'm sorry today's writing brought you something sad instead of something fun. Now, let's talk drawing. I used to draw a lot too, so we have that in common.
ReplyDeleteI agree about the benefits of writing. I discover something about myself every time. Love that you like to draw too.
DeleteYou mind went somewhere other than drawing, but I think you still wrote about drawing, that drawing meant a lot to you.
ReplyDelete:Yes, even though I veered a little, drawing was central to the piece. Thank you.
DeleteHari OM
ReplyDeleteDread, Disguised... and now unveiled. Something seen from a Distance holds much less terror, can be framed, or filed. You have allowed your memory to be Drawn out... that's where healing properly begins. YAM xx
Thank you. I like that..."Drawn out..You always phrase sentiments so beautifully.
DeleteMy sister and I shared bunkbeds when we were young too and I always had the top...we lived in a trailer and my parents had a rough marriage also. My sister would make me smile but making funny faces from the bottom of the bunk...she would look up at me and make a funny face and sing a yodel ♪♫oh, eee, oh, eee oah♫♪. It made me smile when the yelling was going on out in the other room... that's what your post reminded me of.
ReplyDeleteCheers,
Barbie
It's interesting that you and I shared a similar childhood.
DeleteI think your blog is great. I'm having a little trouble commenting though because of a conflict with an old WordPress account. I sure I'll figure it out.
Funny how journaling (and blogging is a kind of journaling) can bring up issues we had forgotten about or buried deeply. I'm sorry this came up for you. I'm assuming it came up now because you are better able to process it now. Sending you peace.
ReplyDeleteT'hank you. I guess there will always be life's unresolved issues. That particular one that I wrote about, I don't think I will ever understand.
DeleteSending you (and the child inside you) a virtual hug. My parents, too, would argue about money after they thought I was asleep. I coped with it through writing. I'm happy you had a coping mechanism, too, but sad that you had to go through this.
ReplyDeleteThank you. Sadly, it seems that a lot of children have had to develop coping mechanisms because of selfish adult behaviors. Perhaps my own situation taught me to be more sensitive to my children's feelings.
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