Money

Growing up my parents didn’t specifically talk to us about their financial situation.  

My father was a construction worker.  That meant seasonal work.  He would be without work in the winter for months at a time.  

During those times I remember my grandmother bringing us groceries. 

We wore hand-me downs from cousins who were never quite the same size as us at the time they outgrew their clothes.

The dresses were always a little too big.   Even though my mother would hem the pants, they never fit quite right. 

But we were always excited to see what was in the bags my aunt would bring. 

The dishes my mother would prepare were simple meals using ingredients that would stretch.  And they were always tasty.  

I don’t remember ever being hungry. 

We never went without a meal.  

Although the tension between my parents was obvious, we didn’t quite know why.

I really didn’t understand “money” until I was married with children and with that came a mortgage and car payments. 

I quit work after I had my first child and didn’t go back to work until my third child was in first grade.

Our income was half of what it was when I was working. We started to live beyond our means by using credit cards. We didn’t want our kids to have to wear hand-me-downs. We made sure they would always have the hottest Christmas toy. 

So yes, money or I should say lack of did cause some tension in our marriage. It was more about differences in spending priorities though.   

My relationship with money is much different now.  I live on a fixed income and lead very simple single life

I have figured out that I don’t need anything, really.  I understand that buying new art supplies or pretty yarn, is just a temporary fix for when I am feeling low.  

My money worries now are whether I will have enough in the future to able to afford decent care if I need it.

My sister and I had a discussion yesterday about money.

She asked me if I regretted my spending habits.  She wanted to know if I was sorry that I didn’t save more.

To tell you the truth, I was never wealthy and at this point I never will be. So, if I had saved a little more, I don’t think it would have changed my life in any meaningful way 

No, me and money, we are getting along just fine now. And for the first time, it feels like enough.