Because That's Who Joe Was

 April 4, 2022

It's a Monday

Today would have been my son Joe's 47th birthday.  It's been 10 years since he passed away. 

I started this blog ten years ago to write what I had a hard time saying out loud. 

"They" say grief is a process one goes through after a loss.  

"You may not believe it now, "they" said, but eventually you will be able to think of Joe without the ache."  

"Oh yes, you will be able to remember the happy times you had with Joe and you will find yourself smiling", "they" said.  

I hold so tightly onto the "loss ache", though.  Perhaps my long ago memories are too faded now. 

But, as I sit here quietly today, close my eyes and reflect on that 47 years ago day, I surprisingly find that I can easily bring forth the hidden memories that "loss ache" tries to overshadow. 

It was an easy birth, of course it would be because that's who Joe was.  

When he was placed in my arms, he wasn't wriggly, but lay there quietly looking up at me as if he were trying to figure out where he was and who I was.   Yep, that was Joe.  Quiet and  introspective.   

I remember the day as a  happy and joyous one, yet peaceful at the same time.   A day spent studying each other, checking each other out.   I like to think that Joe, after careful consideration, cause that's who Joe was, made a decision to keep me as his mom.   😍

And so for a little bit of time today I found myself smiling.  Because that's who Joe was.