Friday, March 18, 2022

"It Made Me Sad," He Said.

 Friday, March 18, 2022

Well, we've made it thru most of the winter.  Cases of Covid-19 have dropped dramatically.  Fingers crossed that we are all headed back to healthy.

March weather here in the south of New Jersey has Winter baring its teeth with stubborn tenacity while Spring hints at its arrival by sprinkling in warmer temperatures now and then. 

Ross' condition has not changed much since I wrote about it in January.  

A neighbor whose husband has dementia participates in a program three days a week. She says he loves it and recommended that we check it out.  

So, last week Ross and I visited The Regency Memory Care Club to explore and find out more information.

The first thing I noticed was that the place was secure.  We had to be buzzed in.  That was reassuring.  

Once inside we were greeted by two women who spoke to us in loud voices.  

"HELLO, ROSS.  MY, YOU ARE HANDSOME", the taller one said.  

Before either of us had a chance to respond, the taller woman hooked her arm thru Ross' and led him towards a room filled with round tables where people were sitting and eating cake.

"IT'S SNACK TIME, ROSS."  COME JOIN US FOR CAKE.  IT'S ROSE'S 99TH BIRTHDAY TODAY!

My sensitive introvert brain was preoccupied with the noise and bustling activity.  And "wait,  where was that woman taking Ross?"  

It took me a moment to realize that the other woman was "shouting" at me to follow her. 

She led me thru a maze of rooms. Each of of the doors of these rooms had security locks. She had to punch a code in order to enter. 

As we were walking she was pointing and talking.  "That's the dining room.  Over here is the salon. There's where we do our activities, here's the kitchen..."

At least I think that's what she was saying.  My mind was still back at the front of the building, wondering "wait, where were they taking Ross?"

We finally made our way into what appeared to be a conference room.  Once we sat down, she began to go through her "presentation" which she had obviously given hundreds of times. 

I have to admit, I listened with half an ear, because I was thinking about how Ross was doing celebrating Rose's 99th birthday. 

After she was done explaining everything to me, we made our way back thru the maze of rooms.

There was a group of people singing in one of the rooms we passed by.  A woman leading the group was, I assumed, one of the activities directors.  She sang very loudly. 

Once we got back to the front of the building, I spotted Ross sitting at a small round table with two other people.   Off to the side, in a section of the room where Ross was sitting, was another group of loudly singing people.  

After we said our good-byes, our tour guide walked us back to the exit. As we went out the door, she waved and shouted, "HOPE TO SEE YOU SOON,ROSS!

When we got outside, and began walking towards our car, I noticed with a sigh of relief, the quiet. 

Once we were settled in the car, I asked Ross how he felt about his experience.  

"It made me sad," he said.




4 comments:

  1. Hari OM
    As I read, it made me mad!!! Having worked in age care facilities up till my retirement, one of the things we worked on was creating tranquility and peace for the residents and 'outpatients' - even when activities were on. Whenever we were seeking to direct anyone, we always explained what was going to happen first. Also, unless there was an actual hearing deficit, we were to use normal voices. So this had all the no-no stuff all over it! Especially given you had not yet met properly met anyone there. Oh gosh. Yes, Ross, this made me mad... and sad... YAM xx

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    Replies
    1. Oh Yamini, thank you.
      As I was writing this post I began to wonder if my impression of the place was biased. By that I mean, I think perhaps the underlying feeling might be that I am not ready to accept the reality of his condition which would necessitate him going to a care center.
      I appreciate your perspective and experience. I agree with you. A tranquil environment would be a nicer one.

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  2. That sounds very disorienting. Are there other programs/facilities in the area? It might do to check them out and see if they are similar. But if your gut is telling you no, that place might be a no.

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    Replies
    1. Yes, that's the perfect word to describe the experience, disorienting. We live in an area that has a very large senior citizen population. Based on that, surprisingly enough, that facility is the only one around that specializes in dementia related conditions.

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