Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Mother's Are Always Just A Phone Call Away

Hi Ma.

Doing ok.

You can hear it my voice?  You're right.  I know.  I can't fool you.   No, I'm not doing so ok, today.

I know what you mean, I still can't believe it either.

Yea, I agree.  I know how special he was to you.

Why? Why him?  That is a question I ask myself every day.

Yes, it is a nice day out today.  But, I don't want to move out of my hibernation chair.  The mindless repetition of knit one, purl one and stockinette keeps me sane. Besides it feels safe here.

I know, I know life goes on.  But I'm afraid, Ma.  I'm afraid he will get left behind.
It's the feeling I used to get when I was out shopping with the kids.  I was always looking around to make sure they were in my sight.   My heart would literally stop when they would wander off.   I just don't want him to get lost in the shuffle of life going on?  That's why I have to keep him right here, with me. You know what I mean?

Remember, Ma, remember right after he was born?  I was having a difficult time.  You were right there.   You were always there,  just a phone call away.

You know, Ma, I thought I knew what being a mother was all about, especially after this last year. But, for some reason, though,, when I reached for the phone to call you,  I understood what being a mother is really all about.   I knew that you, only you would understand my pain like no one else ever could.


  1. phone calls work wonders. and sometimes the phone call only needs to be one sided.

    found you on NaBloPoMo ...

  2. Hugs and prayers for you and yours.

  3. "I'm afraid he'll get left behind." I get that. I'm so sorry that your day was so hard, Lynda. Hang in there, okay?