Tuesday, April 5, 2016

Divulge A to Z Challenge The Letter D

Blogging from A to Z Challenge
April 2016
This month I will be participating in the “Blogging from A-Z Challenge” 
What is it?

Blogging every day.  It begins on April First with a topic themed on something with the letter A, then on April second another topic with the letter B as the theme, and so on until I finish on April thirtieth with the theme based on the letter Z.   The theme of the day is the letter scheduled for that day.

An Experience of Truth

Ross and I have lived in our community for 14 years.  It's one of those age-restricted ones.  When we  were contemplating buying here,  the salesperson, Lisa, was hard selling the "Lifestyle".
"There are so many activities," she said.
Continuing on with her sales pitch, she said,  "The people living here are so nice.  You'll make instant lifelong friends."
At the time, I was a skeptic and cynical.  I felt I was still young and these people were so old.  Now, when I think back to the arrogance of my attitude, I am embarrassed.
Anyway, 14 years ago, when Lisa mentioned "lifelong" friends, I remember thinking, they will be, at best, short-term lifelong friends.
This time of our life is much different than when we were twenty-something and newly married.  Actually, the biggest difference, I guess, is that Ross and I were each married to different people back then.
But, then, yes when I was young, "lifelong" meant a time so far in the future that it was an ungraspable concept.
Now, the foreseeable future is a certainty, evidenced by the number of new next door neighbors we have had in the last fourteen years.
So, now, I will divulge my secret for how I managed to cope with living here in this community of short term lifelong friends.
I didn't make friends.  In fact, I boasted about how I mostly kept to myself.  I smugly replied to those who asked, "Do you participate in any of the activities?"
"Oh, no, I am not a joiner," I would say.
Anyway, I had heard rumors about cliques and how hard it was to be accepted.  So why bother?  I thought.
In the last 14 years, life has certainly taken its toll.  Particularly the last 10 of those fourteen.  There have been many times I wished I had someone to confide in, to commiserate with over a cup of tea.
Perhaps because I am now one of "those" people, who I now empathically describe, not as old, but  wise, I regretfully understand that there can be no time constraints placed on the value of comradery and community.  
Recently,  I began to wonder if it is too late for me to join in.
I can now divulge another secret, I believe I am starting to evolve.
Yes, tomorrow's E word is Evolve.


  1. I've lived in my neighborhood for more than 25 years and know very little about the neighbors. But I don't think I want to join in At least not just yet!!

    1. How interesting. Perhaps it depends on the neighborhood or how busy you are with the fullness of your own life.

  2. I want to hear more on your evolve post tomorrow :) It is hard sometimes to "break" into a community or a neighborhood. I tend to isolate and rarely meet our neighbors :)


  3. It is never too late to reach out and start getting to know others. Just be honest with others and let them know you were a doubter, but through wisdom you have changed your course. There is too much going on in the world and around us for us to separate ourselves and live in a closet.

    I wish you all the best.
    Patricia @ EverythingMustChange

    1. Stay tuned for the letter E. I am making a little progress.

  4. I bet it's not too late to join in. Perhaps you just need to start your own group for something. A writer's group, perhaps ;)

    1. Funny that you mention that :) Anyway, I was just talking about that with a couple of women this evening.

  5. Ah Linda, you sound so much like me. Frankly, being a introvert, I'd rather evolve alone.

    1. Yes, me too, an introvert. That's why I would have to ease into any social situation.

  6. It's the classic introvert dilemma--how to reap the benefits of socializing without actually have to socialize? And it's never too late to evolve, I don't think. At least I hope not. :)

    1. I've had periods of evolution. Sometimes I come out for a little while and sometimes I don't.

  7. Although I am a very private sort of person, I like being with other people as much as getting on with doing things by myself. When we moved here just over a year ago, I knew I would have to push myself out there and have indeed found many lovely people who now like me are older and wiser and are all about how we are now rather than what we were - there's no competition like there can be in the workplace! I've got involved in a project to bring Nordic walking into a community where there are great isolation problems for both young and old and I want to put the message out there that it is NEVER too late to join in and be with others and hopefully people in this community will enjoy the benefits of that :)
    A Stormy’s Sidekick
    Special Teaching at Pempi’s Palace

    1. Good for you! I had to google Nordic Walking. We have a hiking club here in our community, I guess that is similar.