Wednesday, October 7, 2015

My Dear Cousin

I am heartbroken.  My cousin Joe's son passed away on Monday.  Kevin was only 35 years old.  We are all in shock.  Joe just lost his wife, Joanne two months ago.
Joanne was an invalid and Joe was her caregiver for many years.

My son was 34 when he died in December of 2011.   I understand that part of my cousin's pain.
When I heard about Kevin, I felt helpless.  I wanted to be of comfort to Joe.  After all, I should know what to say to him, to ease his pain, shouldn't I?

I read the condolence messages people were leaving on my cousin's Facebook page.   Of course there was the standard "Sorry for your loss."  There were several "There are no words..."   Many were keeping Joe in "their thoughts" and praying for him and for his family.

I remembered that the comfort I received was not in what someone said, but rather I felt cared for simply because they reached out to me.

Joe always had an upbeat  positive outlook all throughout Joanne's illness.  But losing his son so soon after Joanne.  I wondered how he was going to be able to get through this.

I then recalled a post Joe wrote a few months before Joanne passed away.  Here is what he said:
"How to deal with down & out problems in our lives.Inspiration! Every day! Wake up! Deal with whatever! Live your daily life! And make it work for you! And drag as many people as you can with you! The big word? Positive. The big phrase? Be the best as you can be for you! Starts with you & spreads from there!"

Joe, you once told me that I was an inspiration for you.   But, Cousin,  you are truly the one who inspires!

My heart goes out to you Joe.  I am so sorry for your loss.  And you are in my thoughts.  


  1. I am so sorry to hear about the loss of Joe's son.


  2. That's so sad. I like the post..realistic but not sappy.

    1. It is incredibly sad. So much for one person.

  3. Thanks for this. The important thing wasn't the message but the fact that someone reached out. Because when things like this happen, we never know what to say. But if I know that the important thing isn't what is said but rather that something is said... That helps.

    1. Yes, I know sometimes condolences can seem so inadequate. But they are usually heartfelt. And that's what counts.