Thursday, July 5, 2012

The 24/7 Stuff of Our Life

Yesterday we didn’t do the traditional 4th of July celebrating.  We planned on getting to the beach early.  But it was a dark and stormy morning...
We had no invites to picnics or back yard bar-b-ques.  The kids were off doing their own thing.
So it was just Ross and I trying to somehow make it our own holiday, just the two of us.
In a few days Ross and I will be celebrating our 11th wedding anniversary.
I retired (at a very young age, mind you) 10  years ago and we moved down the shore (that’s Jersey speak for beach).  Since we moved, it has been pretty much just the two of us.
We have been side by side for the usual stuff of life...engagements, weddings, births and deaths. We didn’t have kids together, but together we have kids.
When I think of our years together, it’s the day to day, the 24/7 that is really our stuff of life.
Even though we weren’t young together, we have managed to stuff a lot of stuff into our lives as we grow old older together.

So yesterday, for our 4th, we went to C & G’s Country Cafe in Tom’s River for breakfast and I had red, white and blue waffles.  

After breakfast we went to the mall.  And the two of us together, picked out clothes for me :). Red skinny jeans, a white top and blue jacket.  The looks I got from Ross as I paraded in and out of the dressing room, well my, my it’s as if we were newly weds :)
 As we lunched together on the water at the Bayview Terrace restaurant, Ross pointed out to me where   the township fireworks display would be, if we were so inclined, which we weren’t.  We talked about the plans we have for Sunday.  Plans to attend a different kind of celebration.  A Celebration of Life in honor of Jonathan.   Jonathan and Ross, were first cousins and lived two doors down from each other.  They grew up together and were more like brothers.  Ross and Jon kind of lost touch with each other over the years as they each went their separate ways to do their own life’s stuff.  But, a little while ago, Jon called Ross to tell him that he was very ill.  Jon  was frightened and cried as he told his “brother” that he probably was not going to be around much longer.  And Ross cried when he got the phone call last month that Jon had passed away.  More of life’s stuff.
When we got home we did the stuff we do, the dog walking and the laundry doing, the TV watching and the knitting.   As I sat outside on our front porch in my green L.L.Bean Adirondack chair with the green and white striped cushion,  I thought about the life Ross and I share.   I thought about how my sister Elaine and I joke about how the true test of love is whether you are willing to change your partner’s diapers, when and or if the time comes.   I am and I will.
By the way, Ross, thank-you for rescuing me from that evil frog who was sitting under my green and white striped L.L.Bean cushion.
He’s Real

Today is July 5.  It has been 7 months since my Joey passed away.  Ross has held me and comforted me every one of those 214 days.
I miss my son.

I have created a page for Anna's Diary.  It can be found under the Tab titled Anna's Diary.
I have posted all of the entries to date there, starting with January 1, 1929.

Here are yesterday and today’s entries from Anna’s diary:
Thurs. July 4, 1929
Fourth of July.  Went to 360 and went to cemetery with Mother and Father.  Went to see Grandma M.  Took her out for a ride then went to Mrs. Nap to shoot Baby’s fireworks.
Friday, July 5, 1929
Mae Harrison came over for lunch.  We had a long talk.  She told me all about the trouble she is having with her husband and another woman very sad.


  1. What a wonderful post, Lynda!  I thought about you yesterday knowing that today was the 7th month anniversary of Joe's death.  I am so glad you have Ross in your life.  From where I sit, what you appear to share with Ross is incredibly precious. I envy you.  

  2. Thanks JT.  I remember one of your posts in which you talked about writing love letters.    I thought about the things I appreciate about Ross, even the smallest things which I might usually not even notice. And as I began to write about them I found that my post turned into a sort of love letter.  I’m sure that would probably work for others in my life who I might take for granted or perhaps not appreciate quite as much as I could or should. 

  3. And they are kinda fun to write too!  Especially if you can get playful with it!