Tuesday, July 26, 2011

"Lost connection, sorry..."

As I was checking Facebook this morning, I noticed a long lost friend was also online.   After all isn't that what facebook is all about?  I began a chat session with her with an admittedly unoriginal "Hi Susie".   We went back and forth with the obligatory "How are you?"  "How's the family?"  "How about this heat, huh?"

As I was politely waiting for one of her replies...you know chat etiquette...I wondered why it was taking so long for her to respond.  Finally she came back with "Lost connection, sorry".  We chatted for a few more minutes and then again following chat etiquette, I began to bring the session to an end by saying: "Anyway I saw you online and just wanted to say hi."

After we said "bye" I began to think about how e-mail, texting and social media has changed our whole way of communicating.

I know, I know, it's been written and spoken about many times.

On a personal level, this particular incident, had quite an effect on me.

Susie and I worked together at the same company about 20 years ago.   We were actually cube mates.   Because of the nature of our job, there were times when we probably spent more time with each other than with our families.  We had a lot in common.  We were around the same age and were in the middle of raising teenagers.  We even tried to fix her son and my daughter up.

A disturbing fact about the group of people that we worked with.   When I came into the group, Susie, had recently lost her father to cancer.    At the same time another woman, Sue,  was dealing with her father's battle with cancer.  He passed away about 6 months later.   About a year after that my father became ill with cancer and passed away.  And the next year Gail's father passed away from cancer.

During all of this, we were each other's support.  In particular, Susie was a good friend to me and I hope I was the same for her.

I retired from the Company 10 years ago and I haven't seen or actually spoken to Susie for probably that long.

Interestingly enough, my son Joe works at the same company as Susie and I did.     When Susie found out that Joe had cancer, she sent me a touching e-mail offering her support.  And, if I ever needed to talk, I could give her a call.

There have been times during this past year and a half when I really could have used a good friend like Susie.    And after all she did offer.

"What stopped me?" I wondered.

Ironically, the "Lost connection" comment during our chat session probably says it all.

How do you pick up where you left off with someone who you have "Lost Connection" with?  Would we still have the same "connection" as we once did?

One thing I do know, having a brief chat session is probably not the best way to re-establish a most precious" Lost connection".

After all when you are speaking with someone on the phone or better yet in person, you don't need to qualify every conversation with LOL's, haha's, smiley or sad faces, do you?

Now, where did I put her phone number?


  1. If you can't find her phone number, send her a message and ask her to lunch.

  2. I worked at the same company (a LARGE telecommunication company) for 30 years. The last 10 years was pretty much with the same group. We seemed like good friends but once I left, I never saw them again. I felt I didn't have anything in common with them other than work even though we had been through births, loss and deaths together. I started another career in retail a couple of years later. I was there about 5 years and still have one gal who I am still very good friends with. Friendships take work and time. Someone has to make the effort, probably the one who wants the friendship the most. 
    Social media has been a way to keep those friendships up to date but very superficially. I hope you found that phone number. 

  3. Losing touch happens.  So can re-connects.  Facebook has put me back in touch with a wonderful friend from about 30 years ago.  It was like it had been no time.  CALL her.  She will be happy you did.  So will you 

  4. I must admit, I find communicating via email, chat easier [also cheaper than making phone calls in the UK !] - I use it more frequently to keep in touch, especially with friends and family abroad.  Susie sounds like a good friend - hope you don't let 'lost connection' get in the way.