Tuesday, April 4, 2017

Crying Over You #AtoZChallenge

Blogging from A to Z Challenge
April 2017
This month I will be participating in the “Blogging from A-Z Challenge” 
What is it?
Blogging every day.  It starts on April First with a topic themed on something beginning with the letter A, then every day in April, (with the exception of Sundays)  another topic continuing through the alphabet ending with, of course the letter Z.
I really don’t have a theme.  Some will be fiction.   Mostly whatever strikes my fancy.



Crying Over You

I was awakened early this morning.  It was 4:34.  Perhaps a bad dream.   The song “Crying” by Roy Orbison was ear worming in my brain.

"I was all right for a while, I could smile for a while
But I saw you last night, you held my hand so tight
As you stopped to say "Hello"
Aw you wished me well, you couldn't tell
That I'd been crying over you, crying over you
Then you said "so long". left me standing all alone
Alone and crying, crying, crying crying
It's hard to understand but the touch of your hand
Can start me crying…”

The most intimate moments in my life occurred when I gave birth to each of my three children.
For each of the times, my child and I shared something together that would be like no other time in our lives.
Although, at the moment of their first breath of life, we may have physically separated, the tightly wound knot that bound us together during the months before, left a deep and everlasting imprint in my heart and soul.
I have had many joyous moments in my life.   But none as heady and breathtaking as giving birth and holding my baby for the first time.  Each time, I was so full of happiness that I cried.

Today, in the early pre dawn of this very day, I am immersed in a memory of the birth of my son, Joe.  I close my eyes and vividly recall the experience.  I feel the weight of him cradled in my arms.   I am filled with joy and wonderment as I look down at his tiny face.   I feel his softness as I trace his baby skin with my fingertips.  He seeks nourishment from me as his little mouth opens and closes.
Me and my Joe, just the two of us, sharing the most intimately tender moment of our lives.
I want to stay here in the moment of that memory.  It’s gauzy and dreamy and delicious.

Forty-two years ago on this day,  Joe and I shared one of the most intimate moments of our lives, like no other.

Today, I am so filled with sadness that I cried.

14 comments:

  1. Oh no! Now I'm wondering what is causing her to cry on Joe's birthday. If it's what I suspect, this is a bittersweet tale, but beautiful at the same time.

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    1. It is a bitter sweet. Actually, more sad than bitter.

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  2. Happy birthday, Joe. I am sorry you had to leave so young. I know you are dearly missed.

    Betty

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  3. Happy birthday to Joe. I hope he's celebrating in heaven.

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  4. So beautifully written, Mom. Extra love and hugs to you today even as I know they aren't ever quite enough for as much as he is missed.

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    1. Thank you, Anne, I know you understand.

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  5. That got me - Sending you a big hug. You explained that mother/infant closeness. I totally get it.

    Next month is my son's death anniversary. It never goes away.

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    1. Thank you. As you know, the pain does not go away.

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  6. Sending you a hug today! Losing a child has to be the toughest thing a mom will ever have to face. Happy Birthday to Joe in heaven. He knows how much you love him!!

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    1. Thank you. Loss is hard, as you know, Paula.

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