A-Z Challenge K is for The Creative Side of My Zen

It’s time to participate in the April A-Z Blog Challenge.  I will be blogging every day in April, with Sunday’s off. 
The topic for each day will begin with the designated letter of the alphabet.
This Saturday’s letter is K. 

 I knew I would be writing about this topic today.
After I told Ross what the letter of the day was, he started throwing out suggestions.  Or maybe his statement was actually a literal suggestion when he said, “Go Fly a Kite.”
Could it be that he is feeling neglected because of my preoccupation and dedication to A-Z?
No, I’m sure he was just trying to be helpful.  hmmm.
Anyway, so I said to him,  “This is the easiest letter for me.  Of course, I wouldn’t be writing about anything but that.”
For the last three years it has been one of my “number one" obsessions.  Yes, I do believe you can have more than one “number one” obsessions.  For instance, during the A-Z challenge both of my obsessions share the number one spot.
I have been through a hard time lately which has caused me a great deal of stress and anxiety.  I’ve tried Yoga, exercise and guided mediation.  None of those things worked for me.
Today, I am writing about something which has provided me and continues to provide me with the utmost comfort.  It is my Zen.
I envy those who are naturally creative.
 I wish I could draw or paint.  I’ve tried, but what my “artistic” eye sees doesn’t quite translate the same way onto a sketch pad or canvas.
I fancy myself spotlighted on a stage in front of a large crowd, tossing my hair and gyrating to the beat, (no tweaking, though).  My imaginary grand production is explosive with backup singers, dancers and all.  But alas,  I can’t carry a tune and anyway my body just doesn’t move that way.  I’m more of the wedding Tarantella group dancer.
What I am writing about today satisfies my creative needs.
I am attracted by bright colors and sparkly things.  But, because of my shyness or fear of being the center of any attention, my wardrobe consists of nondescript shades of blacks and grays.
An additional reward that I get from my topic for today is that I can touch and squish neon pinks and bright greens.  I can pet soft lavenders and stroke berry reds.  If I want to, I can even choose silver or gold.
The best thing about my subject is that after I have picked out the perfect color, quietly and peacefully enjoyed hours of uninterrupted Zen, proudly marveled at my progress and then throughly enjoyed its final beauty, I have the ultimate pleasure of tying it all together,  placing a big fancy bow on it and giving this gift to someone else to treasure.

Why not check out some of the other 2033 participants in the April 2014 A-Z Blog Challenge.

A-Z Challenge J is for Born on the First of July Jitters

It’s time to participate in the April A-Z Blog Challenge.  I will be blogging every day in April, with Sunday’s off. 
The topic for each day will begin with the designated letter of the alphabet.
Friday’s letter is J for Jitters.

Today we are going on a road trip.  We will be heading north/west.
Our destination is a 7 hour drive from our house.  We will be away from home for five days.

I was born in the month of July.  July 1, to be exact.  Although I’m not a believer in Astrology there are certain traits that are attributed to Cancers that do fit my personality.

According to Astrology.com :  “ Cancer, the fourth sign of the zodiac, is all about home. Those born under this sign are 'roots' kinds of people, and take great pleasure in the comforts of home and family.”

I am most certainly a homebody and have difficulty traveling.  I get jittery days before a trip.   This time was no exception.  The jitters almost got the best of me.  I thought for sure that I wouldn’t be able to make the junket.
As is typical for me, even mundane trip preparation became an overwhelming task.  Figuring out what clothes to bring, particularly at this time of the year was especially difficult.
I was going to pack my all purpose black slacks, but I couldn’t find them.  How could I go on this trip without my all purpose black slacks?  I frantically searched my closet and the spare closet.  I asked Ross to look through his closet.  But no luck. At this point I found myself actually wringing my hands.  I stopped short of saying “woe is me!”  I still had so much to do and then I had to go out and buy a new pair of all purpose black slacks.
Luckily, I quickly found what I was looking for.  I was in and out of the store in record time.  But the pants were too long.  So I had to shorten them.  Another thing that I had not planned on.  By this time, it was late, I was tired, so I fiddle dee dee’d it and went to sleep.
I was up early, re-packed and re-packed again.  Despite the jitters, the anxiety and the worries, we managed to get on the road by 9:00 a.m.
Irrationally, when I am away from home,  I worry that something is going to happen to anyone who isn’t with me.  I’m sure it stems from some deep rooted, hidden, child hood trauma.  Or it could just be because,
"Cancers are ruled by the Moon -- the Great Mother of the heavens in ancient times. Here on Earth, this is manifested in the Crab's maternal instincts and desire to protect home and hearth. This may appear smothering at times, but that's the Crab for you.”
 Actually the trip went smoothly.  That’s not to say that I was cool, calm and collected the whole way, but eventually the jitters did not bug me as much.
Oh, yeah, there was one little glitch.  Even though Ross explained to the officer that he was keeping up with the traffic, he still got a speeding ticket.

                                                                   

Waiting for the officer to finish writing the ticket.

Why not check out some of the other 2033 participants in the April 2014 A-Z Blog Challenge.

A-Z Challenge I Is For My Inside Voice

It’s time to participate in the April A-Z Blog Challenge.  I will be blogging every day in April, with Sunday’s off. 
The topic for each day will begin with the designated letter of the alphabet.
Today’s letter is I for my Inside Voice.

My Inside Voice

Dan Harris has been making the rounds of the talk show circuit promoting his book, “10% Happier: How I Tamed the Voice in My Head, Reduced Stress Without Losing My Edge, and Found Self-Help That Actually Works—A True Story”.
 I saw him on the Katie Curic show and I related to his story.  I imagine that most human beings can.   Our minds are never quiet, not even when we sleep.
Mr. Harris, who is an anchor for the ABC news show Nightline, tells of having a nationally televised panic attack while he was in the middle of reading the news on Good Morning America.
What I like about his story is that he is not promising total peace or extreme euphoria.
He does recommend meditation.  His approach is rational and realistic.

I would like to quiet my inside voice, especially at 1:00 a.m., 3:00 a.m. and 5:a.m.
Those are the times, when it is dark and quiet, that my constant companion has the podium all to herself.
She is definitely hyper active.  She jumps from topic to topic. She frantically meanders down one path and then suddenly makes a hairpin turn without warning.
She repeatedly asks the question “Why?”  She agonizes over “What if?”   She is a worrier that one.
She thinks she should, knows she can’t, and doesn’t really want to.  She is quite negative, that she is.

She is a whisperer during the daylight hours, filling my head with dreams of “if only’s”.
She speaks of sticking to a diet, exercising every single day and drinking plenty of water.  She warns me to stay away from sugar and reminds me to eat my vegetables.

Guilt is her most viscous weapon.

Just once, though, I wish she would give me a pat on the back and tell me how I am a pretty great person.  I wouldn’t mind a warm hug and a “it’s going to be okay” every once in a while also.

I wonder what would happen if the thoughts that are continuously circulating around in our minds were  spoken out loud.  Wouldn’t you like to do that sometimes?   For instance, instead of smiling and saying “sure no problem” when asked to do something that you would just rather not do, wouldn’t you like to be able to say “no.”  With no explanation.  Just plain No.
Our interpersonal relationships would certainly be affected.

I ordered Mr. Harris’ book from Amazon and just received it.  I have only read the flap on the book jacket and am already 1% hopeful of being 10% happier.

What is your inside voice telling you?

Why not check out some of the other 2033 participants in the April 2014 A-Z Blog Challenge.