Friday, June 7, 2013

A Visit to The Sixth Happiest Seaside Town in America Rowayton Connecticut

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

It has been 18 months since Joe passed away.




















A part of me feels as though Joe is just only away.  It is, I’m sure, partly an indulged fantasy, but mostly it is a coping mechanism.

Escaping is another coping method, especially when it's the fifth of the month.  Those anniversaries are cold stark reminders.  And no matter how hard I try, I cannot reach into a photo and touch him.

The weather is going to be splendid, a good day to escape to some other place.
The "10 Happiest Seaside" towns were listed in the June issue of Coastal Living magazine.  Listed at number six was Rowayton, Connecticut.  Since that town is the closest one to where we live, a 2-1/2 hour drive, we decided to check out this happy place.

The following is a blurb about Rowayton taken from the magazine's website:
"This picturesque New England village has lured artists for centuries. It's like Nantucket or Martha's Vineyard, say locals (4,000 call it home), but without the swell of tourists."

The print magazine was a little more detailed in its description of the "town" calling it "...straight out of a Norman Rockwell illustration."
I skimmed over the part about it being "sophisticated" and  "...one of the most expensive spots in the state (as well as in the nation)."

We got an early start.  I think we were out of the house by 9:00.   Unfortunately, the route to get there is not very scenic.  It is highway all the way.

About half way there we stopped for breakfast at a deserted strip mall restaurant called the Bus Stop Cafe in Carteret, NJ.  I was a little hesitant, but it turned out to be a cute place and the food was good.






















The drive included a view of the New York City Skyline,


 and a crossing over the George Washington Bridge.





At the crossing over the Henry Hudson Bridge we saw this sign. I didn't understand what this meant. I googled and found out that if you don't have an EZ pass, a picture will be taken of your license plate and you will receive a bill for the toll.   I wonder how many pay those toll bills?




We have arrived

As soon as we entered the "town" we immediately understood the meaning of exclusivity.  It is a small town, but certainly not welcoming.  There were "No Parking" signs on most of the streets.  In fact most of the streets were designated as private, no entry.  I observed the faces of the people walking around. I saw business people, women walk/jogging with baby strollers, dog walkers and constructions workers.  There were no smiles or friendly waves.  I guess I would say the looks we were getting were more of a suspicious nature.  I suppose our Jersey plates may have had something to do with that.

The village of Rowayton sits at the mouth of Connecticut's Five Mile River.
As we drove around we found a park.  The gate was open.  We did not see any signs to indicate that it was not open to the public, so we entered and parked the car.  I must say it was a pretty spot.  As we got out of the car, though, we were hailed down by a woman.  I waited by the car while Ross talked to her.  As it turned out, we were informed by this woman that we were in a members only swim club.   Quick thinking Ross told the woman that we were looking into moving into the community and just wanted to see what the town had to offer.   She agreed to let us walk around a little and I took some pictures.  Funny thing, the woman did not let us out of her sight the whole time.  It was quite uncomfortable.


Darn, and I brought my bikini too.


After I had enough of being monitored, we headed back to the car.  Ross, because that's the way he is, went over to the woman and schmoozed a little with her.  So, it turned out that she didn't live in Rowayton.  In fact she told us that Rowayton wasn't even a town.  It was a section in the town of Norwalk.  She also snidely said that the Rowatonians like to think that they are not living in Norwalk.  When I asked her who was eligible to join the swim club she spouted out that only those living in zip code 06853 could belong.
Now we really did not have a chance to talk to anyone else in the town.  And this woman actually warmed up to us and told us she was a school librarian, living in Norwalk, not in 06853, and that she was just picking up a little extra money by filling in for someone that day.





We also learned that Rowayton was severely hit by hurricane Sandy.  A lot of homes and businesses were affected. With that in mind and the fact that we did not have an opportunity to talk to anyone else in the town,  I will have to hold off judgment as to whether it is a most happy place or not.








Oh, we did stop at the local market, and there was parking on the street in front of the store. We had lunch on the back porch.






 

I must say that made me quite happy!



Thursday, June 6, 2013

Listen Up Kids…Get That Spare Room Ready!

 Tuesday, June 4, 2013
We are up early.
Today is going to be an unusual day.















Even though I didn’t personally know Susan and Alfred very well, I do know that they were elderly parents being cared for by their daughters.

For the past 10 years Susan lived with Patty and Ray.

Also during the last several years, Marie and Dave, in the home where Marie spent her childhood, cared for Alfred. 

Susan passed away on Thursday May 30.  She was 95 years old.  Patty is my brother’s companion.  They have been together for about 20 years. 
I have memories of Susan and my mother on the several holiday occasions that we spent together.  They were contemporaries.  I remember Susan talking about being a seamstress so many years ago.  

We saw Susan for the last time about a month before she died.  It was quite apparent that she was suffering from advanced dementia. As we were having our dessert, Susan adamantly reminded us that we should be careful because not everyone is trustworthy.  She also serenaded us with a rendition of  “Pasta Va Zool”.  You had to be there.  It was quite charming and very cute.

Alfred is my daughter-in-law Anne’s grandfather and great-grandfather to my grandson Domani.

Alfred passed away on Friday, May 31.  He was 91 years old.  Although I had few personal interactions with Alfred,  through Anne, I learned that he was a WWII soldier, a Normandy Beach survivor and he was an active member of his community.  (Anne talks about her grandfather in a touching post that she wrote here.)

At 10:00 this morning, we attended Susan’s funeral.  Afterwards, Ross and I went to the funeral home to extend our condolences to Alfred’s family.

While it is true that Susan and Alfred lived a very long life, of course there will be a void left behind by their deaths. 
The lives of Marie and Patty, the devoted, loving caregivers for their each of their parents, will be dramatically different now.

I cared for my mother for only a short few months.  At the time, it was the most physically and emotionally draining experience of my life.  It is on that level that I relate to Marie and Patty.  

Whenever I was in the company of Marie and Patty, I observed the special attention that each one gave to their parent.   It was apparent that these daughters were caring for childlike adults as the role of parent/child reversed. 

When I saw Patty and Marie today, I recognized the effects of their care giving.  Signs of sheer exhaustion were obvious as was the sadness in their eyes. 

While it is not always possible for one to be the primary caregiver for an elderly or ill family member, I have to say that I feel it is the best care that will be given.  In fact, I do believe that those who are cared for at home will have a longer and better quality of life. 

After attending both of these tributes today, I can’t help but wonder what my elder years will be like.  Who will care for me?  Where will I wind up?
All I can say is, “Listen up kids, get that spare room ready." 


                                                                                                                           


Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Saturday Sunday & Monday

Saturday, June 1, 2013
A day to be out for sure.



 To be out with my camera for sure.


It was 10 degrees cooler on the island.
We saw only one lone surfer.  He was in a wet suit.

70 degrees and windy keeps the crowds away.


More Me With My Camera

 Old Barney is a historic lighthouse located in Barnegat Lighthouse State Park on the northern tip of Long Beach Island, in the borough of Barnegat Light, New Jersey, on the south side of Barnegat Inlet.

We saw
 Fishing on boats
Fishing On The Pier

 and Fishing On The Rocks.

Sunday June 2, 2013
Another Sunny Day                                                                                              
We are up early because we are going to cheek out an onsite auction.





















The auction was a farm type property.   My interest is old jewelry. There was some but I didn’t want to spend the whole day waiting for the gems while farmers tried to out bid each other for worker trucks, red vans, blue tractors,  spiky things, big round wheels,
fuzzy fishing things

and a rusty buzz saw.
So after a quick look around we left the auction and spent the morning on the beach at Belmar instead.




Monday, June 3, 2013
Cloudy today, it’s gonna rain.         




 I went to Curves today for the first time in a month.  I forgot how much I wish I could wear headphones and listen to my own music.  I’m afraid I don’t find the topics of conversation to be interesting or uplifting.   For example in order to be heard over the workout music, the following was shouted, from one woman to another:
“I was at a meeting with this woman in September and yesterday I attended a memorial service for her.  She went that fast [emphasized by a finger snap].  Yeah, she was feeling fine one day and then the next day she passed out and they found out she had 4 tumors in her brain.”

 Oh well it’s only 40 minutes of my day.  

Netflix has brought the award winning show, “Arrested Development" back after a seven year hiatus with 15 new episodes for season four.  
Since Saturday, Ross and I have been doing an “Arrested Development” marathon.  We got through seasons one and two. 
It was a good rainy day to finish up the last of season three, but I have overdosed.  I could only tolerate watching the first one of season four. 
It’s such a silly show. :)  

                                                                                                                       

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