Listen Up Kids…Get That Spare Room Ready!

 Tuesday, June 4, 2013

We are up early.

Today is going to be an unusual day.

Even though I didn’t personally know Susan and Alfred very well, I do know that they were elderly parents being cared for by their daughters.

For the past 10 years Susan lived with Patty and Ray.

Also during the last several years, Marie and Dave, in the home where Marie spent her childhood, cared for Alfred. 

Susan passed away on Thursday May 30.  She was 95 years old.  Patty is my brother’s companion.  They have been together for about 20 years. 

I have memories of Susan and my mother on the several holiday occasions that we spent together.  They were contemporaries.  I remember Susan talking about being a seamstress so many years ago.  

We saw Susan for the last time about a month before she died.  It was quite apparent that she was suffering from advanced dementia. As we were having our dessert, Susan adamantly reminded us that we should be careful because not everyone is trustworthy.  She also serenaded us with a rendition of  “Pasta Va Zool”.  You had to be there.  It was quite charming and very cute.

Alfred is my daughter-in-law Anne’s grandfather and great-grandfather to my grandson Domani.

Alfred passed away on Friday, May 31.  He was 91 years old.  Although I had few personal interactions with Alfred,  through Anne, I learned that he was a WWII soldier, a Normandy Beach survivor and he was an active member of his community.  (Anne talks about her grandfather in a touching post that she wrote here.)

At 10:00 this morning, we attended Susan’s funeral.  Afterwards, Ross and I went to the funeral home to extend our condolences to Alfred’s family.

While it is true that Susan and Alfred lived a very long life, of course there will be a void left behind by their deaths. 

The lives of Marie and Patty, the devoted, loving caregivers for their each of their parents, will be dramatically different now.

I cared for my mother for only a short few months.  At the time, it was the most physically and emotionally draining experience of my life.  It is on that level that I relate to Marie and Patty.  

Whenever I was in the company of Marie and Patty, I observed the special attention that each one gave to their parent.   It was apparent that these daughters were caring for childlike adults as the role of parent/child reversed. 

When I saw Patty and Marie today, I recognized the effects of their care giving.  Signs of sheer exhaustion were obvious as was the sadness in their eyes. 

While it is not always possible for one to be the primary caregiver for an elderly or ill family member, I have to say that I feel it is the best care that will be given.  In fact, I do believe that those who are cared for at home will have a longer and better quality of life. 

After attending both of these tributes today, I can’t help but wonder what my elder years will be like.  Who will care for me?  Where will I wind up?

All I can say is, “Listen up kids, get that spare room ready." 

                                                                                                                           

Saturday Sunday & Monday

Saturday, June 1, 2013
A day to be out for sure.

 To be out with my camera for sure.

It was 10 degrees cooler on the island.

We saw only one lone surfer.  He was in a wet suit.

70 degrees and windy keeps the crowds away.

More Me With My Camera

 Old Barney is a historic lighthouse located in Barnegat Lighthouse State Park on the northern tip of Long Beach Island, in the borough of Barnegat Light, New Jersey, on the south side of Barnegat Inlet.

We saw

 Fishing on boats

Fishing On The Pier

 and Fishing On The Rocks.

Sunday June 2, 2013
Another Sunny Day                                                                                              
We are up early because we are going to cheek out an onsite auction.





















The auction was a farm type property.   My interest is old jewelry. There was some but I didn’t want to spend the whole day waiting for the gems while farmers tried to out bid each other for worker trucks, red vans, blue tractors,  spiky things, big round wheels,

fuzzy fishing things

and a rusty buzz saw.

So after a quick look around we left the auction and spent the morning on the beach at Belmar instead.

Monday, June 3, 2013

Cloudy today, it’s gonna rain.         

 I went to Curves today for the first time in a month.  I forgot how much I wish I could wear headphones and listen to my own music.  I’m afraid I don’t find the topics of conversation to be interesting or uplifting.   For example in order to be heard over the workout music, the following was shouted, from one woman to another:

“I was at a meeting with this woman in September and yesterday I attended a memorial service for her.  She went that fast [emphasized by a finger snap].  Yeah, she was feeling fine one day and then the next day she passed out and they found out she had 4 tumors in her brain.”

 Oh well it’s only 40 minutes of my day.  

Netflix has brought the award winning show, “Arrested Development" back after a seven year hiatus with 15 new episodes for season four.  

Since Saturday, Ross and I have been doing an “Arrested Development” marathon.  We got through seasons one and two. 

It was a good rainy day to finish up the last of season three, but I have overdosed.  I could only tolerate watching the first one of season four. 

It’s such a silly show. :)  

                                                                                                                       

Total Saved $139.72

Friday, May 31, 2013
Slow Rise 7:30

It’s going to be another hot 90 degree day. It’s time to shed the corduroys and wool.   I need want some new different hot weather clothes.
After no exercise for nearly 4 weeks, I’m afraid to try on last year’s summer things.  I’m debating on whether I should I go to Curves or go shopping at Kohls?
Logically, Kohls.  There’s nothing like  trying on clothes to motivate a renewed Curves workout.
Now where did I put that Kohl’s scratch off 15, 20, or jackpot 30%? off coupon?                                                                                          

I have found that shopping at Kohls versus shopping at say a Nordstrom’s is a totally different experience.
When I walk into one of the women's departments at Kohls, I am not greeted by a sales person.  In fact I am pretty much left on my own to wander from department to department for as long I want without having someone asking me if they “May help me find something?”
In Kohls, when I gather up an armful of clothes to try on, a sales person doesn’t offer to "start a dressing room for you?"
In Kohls there is a sign on the wall which advises, "Please be considerate of other customers by limiting 5 items in the dressing room".   But, no one is at the door, stopping me, counting my items or handing me a large green number.
In Kohls a smartly dressed sales associate is not there to offer her syrupy opinion of “Oh, I like that on you,  but I think you should try on the smaller size.”
In Kohls I make my own decisions.  I can, and usually do, select pants that I can button, and also make sure that there is a little wiggle room in case of “ahem”, shrinkage.
In Kohls, when I get up to the register, after waiting for the ten others in front of me to complete their purchase, I am warmly greeted with “How are you today?"  
In Kohls, while it’s true that my pants and tops are not individually folded, wrapped in tissue paper and placed carefully in a sturdy shopping bag,  they are put, hangers and all, into a roomy gigunda gray plastic bag.
And of course there is this:

Where else can you shop and save more money than you spent?

That’s not to say that I don’t, from time to time, enjoy the pampering and extraordinary customer service which is offered at say a Nordstrom’s, but today, it was a  “leave me alone” Kohls kind of day. 

One thing I don’t understand, and this seems to be common in all clothing stores, is why all of them have the brightest, most unflattering florescent lighting and mirrors that surely must be manufactured by the same companies who install mirrors in fun houses. 

Curves for sure on Monday!

                                        Rico sporting his new summer look.

                                   After

Before