Sunday, August 31, 2014

When I am 100 and You are 104-1/2

August 31, 2014

I’ve heard many people claim that once they get to that middle stage of their life, they feel more accepting and comfortable with who they are.
I’m not sure I understand what “they” mean by that.  And to be perfectly frank, I don’t believe a word of it.
Well, okay, perhaps it is true for some people.
Personally, I’m not one of those.
Mid-life crisis?  It’s hokey.  Really.  The life expectancy in the US is approximately 79 years.
So half of that would be about 40 years old.   When I look back at myself at age 40, I am quite certain that I wasn’t thinking that I was in the middle of my life or in crisis.
Oh sure, I was raising children, trying to make ends meet, riding that roller coaster, but I was far too busy to be introspective.
If memory serves me, I don’t recall contemplating how wonderful the next half of my life would be.
Yes, when I look back at myself at age 40, I realize I had no idea about life.
Which brings me to this point in my life.  67/79=84.5.  Or nearly 85% of completion.
I can’t even come up with a catchy, fun phrase for that number.   Sorry, but “almost over”,or  “the end is near” are the first things that pop into my mind.
Ross gets upset with me when I mention that.
“Come on,” he’ll say, “We could live to be 100, you know.”
My reaction and response is, “Oh please.”
Anyway, Now that I am an 85 per-center, I do have time to be introspective.
Sometimes staying in the present is much too humdrum and boring.
I shockingly have come to the conclusion that somewhere along the way I may have lost my imagination.  I wonder, “What happened to my stories?”
My body does a fine job of reminding me that I am “not as young as I used to be.”  I can no longer eat the foods that I love.  Although I have started to wear a FitBit, I don’t feel very fit. That is probably the hardest to accept.
I can count my blessings.  I can be regretful.
I can wish I would have and wonder if it is still possible.
I can long for the good old days and be fearful about what might be coming next.
I can be sad for all that I’ve lost and be wondrous about all that I’ve found.
At my age, I have come face to face with the biggest boundary of all.
So, Ross when you are 104-1/2 and I am 100, will we look back at when we were young sixty and seventy somethings and realize once again that we knew nothing.
Will we finally be able to say we are comfortable with who we are?

So I came across a couple of pictures of myself over the past four years.  As I looked at these photos, I have come to the conclusion that what I am really in the middle of is a schizophrenic hair style crisis.

Warning...some of these photos may have been touched up or air brushed.




20 comments:

  1. Even men can have a bad hair day? Should I put my hair in a pony-tail? Crew Cut? Buzz Cut? Should I grow a beard? Van-Dyke? Handlebar Mustachios? Pencil Bar? Afro? Should I go bald and shave my head? At any rate I'll still have 33-plus years to grow it back in for my 104th birthday.

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    1. Aww you! Remember the other day when you walked in the hair salon while I was getting my hair done?
      All the women were so flirtatious, talking about how envious they were of your silver foxy locks.

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  2. Concentrating on the hair...
    Pictures 2, 5, and 6 are my faves. You look great, but long hair suits you.
    :)

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    1. Hey, thanks. Five and six are current.

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  3. I actually like the last picture with your hair. It is neat though that you had various styles over the last 4 years; I tend to stick with the same style for the last 10 years now that I think of it.

    Since I type medical reports for a living, I'm surrounded by people's ailments, illnesses, surgeries, etc. I have started to be very grateful taht at the age of almost 57 I don't have any medical problems and am in pretty good health, as is my husband at 61 years old. It is amazing how many people in our age group have a long list of diagnoses and take an even longer list of medicine. I try to remember that when I get that occasional (okay daily) ache and pain.

    My only contemplation seems to be "where did the years go?"

    betty

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    1. I know what you mean, Betty. Living in a 55+ active adult community, ailments are a common topic of conversation.
      Actually, now that you mention it, I am grateful that my list of medial problems is minor, comparatively speaking.
      Time, huh? It sure is a flash.

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  4. No one wants to think at 40 that it's half over. So, we live in denial and wait for a mid-life crisis until later. Because, who wants to think that they'll live to only be 80?

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    1. You’re so right. Forty is way too young for a mid-life crisis.

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  5. At 46, I would not say I am always or even mostly comfortable with who I am, but I do think I am more accepting now of who I am than I was at a younger age--or maybe I am just too exhausted to put much energy into thinking about all the ways I wish I were different let alone put effort into actually trying to change who I am. ;)

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    1. What I have come to understand a little better is why I am this person. Perhaps, if I had understood that at age 30 or 40, I would have made different choices.
      Now, at this point, I have to admit, I’m pretty tired myself.
      So, I guess this me will just have to do.

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  6. I think you look beautiful in all of the pictures. We women are so hard on ourselves, aren't we?

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    1. Thank you, Paula! :)
      Besides being hard on ourselves, perhaps we women are too hard on each other, also. Maybe it’s because we are constantly barraged with images of what others perceive as beauty.

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  7. I was just talking with my sister about how often I used to change my hair. I haven't changed it in years now. I'm getting a little restless and starting to think about a change!

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    1. I have always tried new ways to tame this mane of mine. A change of hairstyle is always a good pick-me-up!

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  8. Wonderful blog entry. My thoughts exactly. Just never could find the words to state it as you have. Love this post.

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  9. I loved this post! You made me laugh about the hair!

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    1. Thanks. I was hoping that my “tongue in cheek” showed up in this post. :)

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  10. I'm good to go, so to speak. I have accomplished that which I set out to do: be a community contributor and raise my three sons to be likewise. I am in cruise mode, never-ever-having thought I would make it into my sixties…never. So if I can care for Annie, can some tomatoes, sauce, and ketchup and write about the Giants, until they scatter my ashes in the bleachers-any bleachers-I am contented.

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    1. It sounds like you are content with the way you have lived and continue to live your life. That is a good thing. It’s something I struggle with. But your comment made me stop and take a look at what is right in front of me.

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