Our 2021 Ocean City, New Jersey Vacation Part I

 Sunday, June 27, 2021

We are away.  Not that far away, but at least it's a change of scenery. 

Our family has been vacationing in Ocean City New Jersey for at least the past 10 years.  Ocean City is on the Jersey shore and is a 45 minute drive from our house, which, by the way is also on the Jersey Shore.

But, like I said, it's a change of scenery.  For instance I can look out the front door of the cottage that we have rented and see the beach.   Can't do that at home. 

In 2019 and 2020 health issues and Covid put a hold on an OC vacation for Ross and me.   

But, the kids have carried on with the tradition and haven't missed one summer.   It's always the same week, this week.  The last week in June. 

This year, at the last minute, I decided I might take a chance on an OC vacation.  I have to say I was quite hesitant.  I wasn't sure how Ross would react to being in a different house and a different routine.  But, I truly have missed spending that special time with my family. 

Anyway, I figured it's only 45 minutes away from home.  If we have to leave, it won't be a big deal. 

In the past, Ross and I shared a lot of the preparation for this vacation.  Together, we would come down here some time in March to look at places to rent.  

This year, I "shopped" online and took a chance on a house that I had not seen in person.  Luckily, the place is clean, vintage cottage cute and a block from the beach. 

The kids are staying a few blocks from us.

In the past, Ross would take care of the practical things, like making sure the the mail and newspapers were put on hold.  He'd let our neighbors know we would be away, and ask one of them to put our garbage out on Tuesday.   

This year, I took care of the mail, and we no longer get a daily newspaper.   I forgot to let the neighbors know we weren't going to be around for a week.  

He would do any last minute grocery shopping.  He'd check to ensure that we had new sun tan lotion, bug spray and aloe. He'd make sure the car was in tip top condition and would gas up the car.

This year I did all of the grocery shopping, and found some sun tan lotion from last year.  I'm sure the car is fine and we do have a full tank. 

Ross would spend weeks prior to the vacation, thinking about what he was going to bring.  He'd always say, "All I need is two pairs of shorts, a couple of tee shirts, a pair of jeans and a bathing suit."  Of course, on packing day the list of items would grow.  He'd always throw in extras of everything.  

This year, I packed for Ross.  That might seem like a small thing, me packing for him.  But Ross was always very particular about not only what he was gong to pack, but how he packed.   He was quite the packing expert, making the most of the suite case space.  😊

The other thing Ross took pride in was packing the car.  Before he loaded up the car, he'd study the mound of items we were bringing.  And "magically", everything would fit and usually there would be room left over.   Oh, and he'd also do all of the carrying and lugging.

This year I think I managed to bring everything Ross might need.  And I guess I actually learned a thing or two from him about packing, suitcase and car, because everything fit just fine.  I have to say, doing all the carrying, lugging and packing is exhausting. 

Of course, Ross no longer drives.  I really miss being a passenger.   I never really enjoyed driving.  But, I have gained experience and understand just how tiring driving can be. 

So, we got here yesterday.  We picked up the key from the realtor and found the house.  I tried to unlock the back door and the key wouldn't work. I went around to the front door and couldn't get that one to work either.  

In the past, no matter how rusted or weather worn the lock was, Ross would always, always manage to get the key to work. He'd patiently jiggle and move the key this way and that and "magically" the door would unlock. 

After a few impatient attempts, I called the realtor.  He said he'd be right over to help.  After impatiently waiting, I tried Ross' jiggle method and managed to unlock the door. 

I did all of the unloading of the car, unpacking and putting away.  And in between I made lunch. My back ached terribly and I didn't realize how tired I was until I finally got to sit down for a moment.  

As I sat, looking out the front window, (did I mention we can see the beach?) I silently, had a bit of a melt down.  I thought about how much I missed my vacation partner.  More importantly, though,  I thought about how much I took for granted and now appreciate all of the little things he did. 

Last night, the kids came over for a visit.  When they walked in, Ross' face just lit up.   Mine too 😀

After the kids left Ross and I took a walk to the beach. It's magnificent!  Nothing like the Jersey shore. 

I don't know what the rest of the week is going to be like.  There may be difficult moments. 

But I promise, I'm gong to appreciate all of the little things Ross and I can still do together.  

  

Only One of a Many Caregiver's Stories

April 28, 2021

It's a Wednesday.

Writing provides a satisfying and gratifying way for me to take a deep explorative dive into the depths of all of me.  I generally start out with a glimmer of an idea and soon find myself curiously wandering in and out of the nooks and crannies that make up my being.  I like looking around, seeing what's there.  I have become familiar with some of the paths I find myself on, but there is always more to discover. 

Lately a path I have been distressfully visiting way too often is dark and cold and colorless with boulders of angry criticism blocking the light.  I don't like it there.  But it's there, and stubbornly refuses to be ignored.

These days I don't often have the luxury of the alone time I need to totally absorb myself in my writing. 

For instance, right now, this very moment, I am distracted with the anticipation that my trance will be interrupted.  Thoughts of the morning tasks that caregiving requires are begging for attention. 

I expect that I soon will  be called upon to help selecting the appropriate clothing for the day.  

I hear my name being called from the bedroom.  "Lynda".  I think to myself, it's a sweet sound, really.  

He comes out of the bedroom, walks over to me, and bends down for a kiss.

And he brings with him the light. 

My Memory Blanket

 Today is going to be a beauty of a brisk bright blue, not a cloud in the sky, spring day.   

It's Tuesday, and like every other Tuesday, the low guttural noises of a motor and high pitched squeaks of  brakes coming from a garbage truck woke me.  

We used to live next to an elementary school.  A convoy of school buses would pass by our house early morning and late afternoon.  The not so melodious refrain coming from the buses is nearly the same as our Tuesday garbage truck. 

Sometimes, the Tuesday garbage truck noise tricks my not quite awake brain back into a time warp of long ago.   Before I am fully awake, as I lie in bed,  swirling memories of kid shouts and giggles chase each other around in my head.  

I hear my own voice calling to my children, "Come on now, hurry, hurry, or you will miss the bus." Of course that was the first warning.  The second, third and hopefully not too often, the fourth call would probably not have been as gentle. 

There are no school buses in my neighborhood.  Just us old folks, no kids allowed.  Most times I like the peacefulness and the quiet of the mostly empty streets. 

But this morning, like my worn, but still warm, flannel sheets, the thoughts of little kids and school buses are fuzzy but cozy and I want to linger just a little longer under my memory blanket.