Mother Christmas

Christmas Time 2013
For The Record
Part III

I suppose nostalgia is a normal part of Christmas time.  I do have many nice memories of big family festivities from childhood.
Of course our holiday celebrations have changed since then.   I realize that there is a direct correlation between the evolution of our family and the size, location and tone of our gatherings.  But actually the changes are definitely affected by Mother.
For instance, when I was child, Christmas eve and Christmas day were always spent at my grandparents houses, even though, it meant an hour car ride back and forth and then back again.
I have images of lots of cousins, aunts, uncles, food, music and laughter.
That changed when my grandparents died, particularly after my each of my grandmothers passed.
It seems that’s when the family separated into their own units.  And there was a new Mother’s house to go to for Christmas.
So the Christmas memories of my young adult years are filled with visions of my Mom and Dad’s house. The aroma of bubbling gravy on the stove and lasagna in the oven, the sight of my excited kid sisters and brothers and the sound of my father’s rendition of “Santa Claus Is Coming to Town” are still vivid senses etched in my mind.
When my dad died, my mom moved into one of those adult communities.  By then our family had started to grow, with new husbands and wives and children of our own.  But we would still gather at Mom’s for Christmas.
As Mom got older, it became necessary for her to move into a smaller place. By then the dynamics of our family changed once again with moves out of the areas and multiple divorces. But even though her place wasn’t big enough for us to gather there, Christmas would be wherever Mom was.  By then the dynamics of our family changed again with moves out of the area and multiple divorces.
Since my mom passed away four years ago, as it happened with the passing of my grandparents my siblings I began to have Christmas with our own families.
The past couple of years, my kids and their families would come to our house at some time between Christmas and New Years.  Then last year a new tradition was established.  My daughter had Christmas at her house.  So now Mother has been passed on to her and that’s where we had Christmas again this year.  She and Derek did a splendid job.   Ham and all the trimmings for dinner and homemade cookies for desert. There were bags full of gifts and excited children.  We were all together, Ross and I, Derek, Jen, Bella, Ryan and Jackson, Anne, Domani, Ken and Jimmy.  New memories being made.

Christmas Eve
Even though the gathering gets smaller each year, one thing that has remained constant for the past several years is spending Christmas Eve with my sister Elaine and my brother-in-law Al. This year it was just the four of us.   There was delicious food, great conversation, laughter and love.

Tis Better To Give Than to Receive… Or is it?

Christmas Time 2013
For Record
Part II
Over the years, gift exchange between Ross and I has transitioned and developed into a finely tuned tried and true tradition.
This year, about a month before the twenty-fifth, Jen told me about this website called “Ebates”.
Basically, the premise is that if you purchase an item from one of their many participating online shops, you receive a cash rebate.
So for instance, I ordered a few things from JC Penny and received a 6% rebate.  You can receive the rebate in a check, which is sent to you quarterly.  Or, what I chose to do is have it deposited into my Paypal account.
I was skeptical but it works.  And as far as I can tell there are no strings attached.
Anyway back to tradition.
When my packages arrived from Penny’s, Ross seemed a little upset.
He watched me open the boxes.  As I pulled out pajamas, a couple of sweaters, a few pairs of warm wooly socks and three pair of jeans, he seemed to be disappointed.
When I asked what was wrong, he said, “But we go shopping together. We do it every year.  It’s our Christmas tradition.”
“Oh.”
Hmm, I thought back over the years and recalled that is what we would do.  Ross likes to shop.  He likes to shop with me.  So sometime in December, we would pick a day and the two of us would go on a spree.    I just didn’t realize it had become a holiday “tradition.”
He explained that now his dilemma was that he didn’t know what to get for me.


That’s when I sent him this list:

The Swift by Tom Bihn - The knitting bag designed by knitters for knitters



A GoPro Camera






A set of Caruso Steam Rollers

Needless to say I got everything on my list along with a soft cuddly robe and another pair of comfy pi’s.

Oh yes, and there was this little blue box under the tree.  There should always be a little surprise. 

Tiffany & Company Paloma Picasso Sterling Silver XO  Love and Kisses Pin

And we still went on our shopping spree.  

The saying that it is better to give than to receive is true, most of the time.

I was getting my hair done a few days ago, before Christmas.  As I waited my turn, I couldn’t help but overhear a young twenty-something guy boast about the gifts he was going to give his girl.  

The conversation went something like this:

Hairdresser:  “So did you finish shopping for your girlfriend?”

Guy:  “Oh yeah.  I got her a bunch of stuff.  You know little things, but a lot of stuff.”

Hairdresser:  “Oh, what did you get?”

Guy:  “Well, lets see…Uh, oh yeah, WaWa was having a sale on K-cups.  So I got her a box of those. Punkin Spice.  They were fifty percent off.  Uh…a back pack for when she goes to the gym to put her gym clothes in. It was on sale in Walmart.   The gym was having a sale on protein bars, so I got her a box of those.  I figure we can share those.  Oh yeah and a wool hat.”   I got some stuff for the apartment.

Hairdresser: “Oh, are you living together?”

Guy:  “Yeah she moved into  my place in September.  I think it may have been a little too soon.  We had only been dating for a few months.  And well, you know…I had to make some space for her, clean out a couple of drawers, rearrange some stuff.  Yeah, it may have been a little too soon. "

As I listened to this conversation, I had an image of this poor girl and the pure look of disappointment on her face as she opened up her box of K-cups and protein bars.  

I have a feeling that there will not be a little blue box under the tree for her. 

PS. For the record:

Ross kind of took to the GoPro.  It’s a toy, a gadget.  

I took the hint when he said he would like to try the new Kindle Paper White.

Since he is trying to get fit, I also got him the FitBit.

Is Christmas Twenty-Thirteen Already Just A Memory?

Christmas Time 2013

For The Record
Part I

Along with many other people, it is also a tough time of the year for me.  Actually, for the past few years I have not felt like doing anything Christmassy.
When I think back to the Christmas after Joe died, which was just 20 days after he passed, I cannot imagine how I managed to get through it that year.  I am sure I was very much in a zombie like state of shock.
Today, I re-read the 2011 and 2012 blogs that I wrote around this same time of the year.
As I was reading those posts, I realized how much I miss writing and want to get back into doing it more frequently.
When I began writing this post, I was going to mention how much I did not feel like putting up a tree or doing any kind of decorating this year.  When I referred back to those past two christmas-time posts, I found that I said the exact same thing each one of those years.
Even though Joe’s passing was more recent in 2011 and 2012,  I was still able to motivate myself to decorate for the holidays.  As I would start to go through the ornaments, I would find myself getting nostalgic and sentimental recalling what was special to me about each one.
This year I was much more adamant about not doing any decorating.  No one was planning on visiting.  I wasn’t in the mood.  I was not going to do it!
Then one day I got a phone call from Bella.  She wanted to know if we could get together during her holiday break for a special sleep over.  So, for that reason, I dug out the decorations and I put up the tree.
But it really was different this year.  I was sadder.   Perhaps I have finally begun to feel again.
As I unboxed and unwrapped each of the ornaments, they seemed to no longer hold the same connections for me.
I did most of my shopping online.  Usually I would do it first thing in the morning, with a mug of tea and a cozy warm laptop.   I find if you get there early, you usually beat the crowds. :)
I also find it is less depressing if you do not have to encounter the group of tired, grouchy and stressed out, shoppers who trudge through the malls.
For the third year in a row I did not send out Christmas cards.  I guess I am slowly being dropped from other people’s lists because we are also receiving less and less cards.
This year, just like in 2011, the cards we did receive were interspersed with sympathy cards expressing condolences for the loss of my brother.

I made several knitting presents.   It’s what kept me on a somewhat even keel.  Unlike shopping online for merchandise, I prefer to do my yarn shopping in my favorite local shop, WoolBearers.  My senses are aroused as soon as I enter the shop.  First, the sight of bursts and shades of color awaken my imagination.  Next is the therapeutic and calming touch, squeeze and caress of each and every hank of fiber.
While in the shop I discovered “Hollywood” by Cascade.  It has just a hint of sparkle and it is 87% Superwash wool.
I made a few really pretty headbands and scarves with that yarn.

Well, so,  I sparsely decorated my very realistic looking, white, almost origami-like Christmas tree, arranged a festive garland on my mantle and hung a wreath on my front door.
I finished all of my shopping, knitting and wrapping with days to spare.  And I managed to do it all with only one meltdown and a much needed good cry.





Part II tomorrow.