Thursday, October 13, 2011

Family Secrets Shh Don't Tell

I received a phone call late one night last week.   It was from a close family member who I shall call Harry.

Harry confided in me that he was going through a rough patch.

After I got off the phone with Harry, I was really bothered by what he was going through.  He was very upset and I felt so bad for him.   I listened and offered my support and yes perhaps a little motherly advice.

Now Harry didn't specifically tell me that I should not tell anyone else in the family about this, but knowing Harry I assumed that he wouldn't want me to.

Harry and I are very close and, as I said, I was upset for him.

Cathy is another close family member.  She and Harry are also very close.

So I thought it probably would be okay if I called Cathy to tell her what was going on.

But I did have to warn Cathy that she probably shouldn't let on to Harry that she knew what was going on.  I thought that it would be better if Harry told her himself.  Cathy agreed.

However, apparently, Harry didn't feel comfortable telling Cathy because so far he has not said a word to her about his situation.

Now I have to admit,  Harry has called me several times since with updates about what is going on.

Now I also have to admit, as soon as I get off the phone with Harry, I call Cathy to tell her the latest.

Two days ago Harry and Cathy were together for most of the day.  Cathy said that she and Harry had a nice day together, but that he never mentioned anything to her about his problem.

So the bottom line is, Harry doesn't know that Cathy knows what I know.

It is a common thing for this to happen in my family.
The conversation usually goes something like this:

"Hi, you."
"Have you talked to so and so lately?"
"No, why what's going on?"
"No, I really shouldn't say anything."
"Oh come on now, you started saying something, you have to tell me now."
"Well so and so told me not to tell anyone.  If I tell you, you have to promise that you won't tell anyone."
"Of course, I won't.  I mean who am I going to tell?"

I have decided that the next time I talk to Harry I am going to tell him that Cathy knows.
It's too confusing to keep track of what Cathy is supposed to know or not know .
After all Cathy cares a great deal about Harry and I'm sure she wouldn't tell anyone else. :)


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