Foolishly Fantasizing about Fame & Fortune

Monday's ABC meme.  Number 6.  The Letter F.

I decided that I would be a little frivolous with this post and foolishly fantasize about being famous.

I had a hard time, though, deciding what I would like to be world famous for.  Given the fact that I am a very shy person and somewhat of an introvert, I suppose that I would have to be reclusively famous or at least anonymously famous.

I thought about what it would be like to be famous for creating fabulous knitting designs.    My most famous design would rival that of  Kate Gilbert's Cloptis or Jared Flood's Noro Striped Scarf.     But, considering the fact that sometimes I have trouble  following a pattern written by a real life fabulous designer, I don't think I can stretch my imagination that far.

I think  Miriam Tegels still holds the record for being the fastest knitter in the world.  Apparently, in order to compete I would probably have to learn to knit continental...not gonna happen.

Maybe I could be famous for having the most followers on Twitter.  Of course I would have to top Lady GaGa's ten million to get the top spot.   But why would that many people want to follow me? I can't sing and I'm pretty old...too old to go topless (shudder) or wear a thong while I pound the ivories.  No, another one that I can't even imagine.

Climbing Mt. Everest has been done done and done.   Anyway I haven't been to Curves lately, so I'm kinda outa shape.

I have written two children's books.   Lynda Goldstein Famous Children's Book Author.  I am famous among the members of my family to whom I have given free copies of my books.  I don't think that would not qualify me for fame or fortune, though.

Maybe infamous would be the better route to go.   I remember watching  a documentary about the life of  80 year old male bank robber.  He would walk into a bank, without a weapon and pass a note to the teller.  The note would say something like, "This is a bank robbery..."  The teller would hand over the money and the guy would just walk out of the bank.

I could recruit Ross to be the get-a-way driver. Well he always drives anyway.   No, too dangerous.  My anxiety level raises just thinking about a Bonnie and Clyde ending.

Perhaps I could be a Real Housewife.   I wonder if anyone would be grabbed by this promo:

Coming up next on the Real Housewives of "The Four Seasons at Mirage Active Adult Community"...

Watch as Lynda Grace (the bitchy one) grabs Maggie May (the sweet one) and pulls her up and out of a lounge chair by the pool.   "Hey, I had my towel on that, you  Bleepity Bleep, Bleep!!  Now get outa my chair!"   

Wow!  It felt pretty good to picture that one.  I don't think it would get the Neilson Ratings, though.

Well I guess I could go on and on and list an infinite number of possibilities.
But the more I think about it the more I realize that I am pretty content to be reclusively and  anonymously known to the 13 people who do apparently follow and maybe sometimes even read my blog.